Childood Memories

  What are little girls made of, sugar and spice and everything nice but in my case

throw in a pair of sneakers.

     I told you in a previous blog that I always wanted to be a mommy; I also wanted a little girl that would be just like me. I was hoping that this pregnancy would give us that girl …but we are thankful for our son. No, we will not be trying again for a girl.

Parents, cousin and my boys on vacation

      I grew up the oldest in a two parent home with both of my biological parents. I never truly wanted for anything and always felt loved and secure. I have a lot of memories of my childhood:  I can remember shaving my eyebrows when I was little after seeing my dad shave.  I remember spending most of my childhood at my Great-Grandmothers house; because both of my parents worked. My days were spent running and playing outside until my Grandma called me in. I remember the first time I took my father to the basket it was a between the leg bounce pass to the basket for a layup I have never played him again. I have no desire to after that layup. I remember the summer vacations at our time share villa in Florida (we still go) . I could go on... 

     As I think back over my life I am grateful for what my parents were able to give me and my brother. I realize that one of my parents’ goals and all parents are to ensure that they give their children a better way of life than they had.  I am who I am because of the experience/ memories that my parents created for me.

Dad and son creating memories on vacation

Motherhood...no book

     There is nothing in the world greater than being a Mommy. As I lay in bed on a fetal monitor I am thinking please no contractions.I also have my 4 year old working on his homework and trying to figure out what this device is. My mother who has traveled an hour and a half  to help out is washing clothes and ironing the boys clothes for the week. All of this is going through my head as I start work on this blog. Let me try to focus.

My two boys

     Motherhood.....no book has been written to tell you how to be a mother it is all Trial and Love. No, not Error it is love that makes you a Mother, Mom, Mommy, Ma... what ever you prefer to be called. (This is definitely a contraction.)

My mommy with the boys ( at a wedding)

     God blessed me with a Great Mother. I have always love being around my mom (I asked her to be a chaperone on my senior trip) she has been my biggest cheerleader (3 sport high school athlete). I have never heard her swear, seen her drink or do anything to make me ashamed to be her child. She has been my spiritual compass and confident.   I can't imagine what Mommy felt or/ is feeling after losing my brother her baby. Through his sickness and death she has remained strong and prayerful. My mommy has been my reference book she is my Role Model and I can only pray that my boys will turn out as good as my brother.

     I am my boys first teacher and I take pride in knowing that I am responsible for helping them be productive God fearing citizens. We will train up our boys and when they leave this house they will be a reflection of us (my husband and I) and God.

Unto Death Do Us Part

      I prayed for my husband, I was specific in my request; please send me a: God fearing, Intelligent, Attractive, Loving, Hardworking, and a Family man.

      The first time that I saw how my husband interacted with his mother and sister I knew that he was a good man. Now, every time I see him interact with our boys I know that he was sent by God.  

     Just recently my husband told me that another one of his friends was getting a divorce and I began to think why? He went on and told me his friend’s side of the story and of course the divorce is because of something the wife did or didn’t do.  

     Then I thought back to my prayer. I asked God for someone that I felt equally yoked with, someone that I connected with beyond the physical. In our marriage counseling sessions we spoke from the heart and communicated our goals and expectations for our marriage, life and future together. (Which I think should be mandatory before all marriages.)

      I have come to realize that when our boys are gone it will be the two of us. Yes, I want to be a great mother but I need to remember to be a great wife.

The Challenges of Life

This past year my 24 year old brother passed away, I have been hospitalized 3 time with complications with my current pregnancy, I was "given" a new educational position, I was the first African American candidate to be selected to be in the top five for teacher of the year in my school district , ...  I can go on... I wanted this initial blog to be away to say Thank you God.

My brother reading to my two boys,

Senior Airman Casey Robert Jackson (my brother).

Because through all of my challenges I know that everything happens for a reason and what doesn't kill me will make me strong. The last time that I received bad news I cried for at least an hour and my youngest son told me that I have to be brave. At that moment listening to a four year old give me a pep talk I resolved to be thankful for all of my challenges because they have made me strong.

What challenges have you overcome that you now realize was just an exercise to make you stronger?